The Four Agreements – From the Navigating the Vortex Wellness Column
Reprinted with permission from the Crestone Eagle. www.crestoneeagle.org
Most of us learned The Golden Rule during our childhoods. Treating others as one would want to be treated by them. Many religions and traditions have a set of guidelines or philosophies to live by. Catholics have The Ten Commandments, Buddhists, The Precepts. Yogis follow the Yoga Sutras. Taoists, the I Ching.
More and more of us do not experience organized religion as children, or as adults, may have rejected a rigid religious upbringing. After all, it’s Crestone. A place that attracts black sheep.
Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, Don Miguel Ruiz created The Four Agreements. They are a simple set of guidelines that are very popular and being applied by many. They are as follows:
Be impeccable with your word
Do not take anything personally
Do not make assumptions
Always do your best
I have found that by applying these principles in my life, along with the yoga sutras, tao, and Buddhist philosophy, I experience more harmony and inner peace.
According to Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements were created to “help us to break self-limiting agreements and replace them with agreements that bring us freedom, happiness, and love. The Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives.”
Like anything, there is a learning curve in adopting them. I suggest glancing at the list and the descriptions online and see which one you feel you need to, or want to, work on first. Remind yourself when you are connecting with others that you would, for example, like to be more impeccable with your word. Take a beat before speaking and be sure what you are saying is true. Some exaggerate or fill in blanks to create a more interesting or pleasant story, but how might that stretch of the truth, or omission of truth, affect others?
Being impeccable with your word, also includes refraining from gossip. Something that seems to run rampant in small isolated communities as a form of entertainment. If you are like me, I was raised to gossip. It was a way we stayed informed about family members. As a mental health practitioner, I have trained myself with discipline to hold confidence and to not gossip. Otherwise, who would feel comfortable sharing their personal life with me? As a reminder, this is a practice and will take time. Catch yourself if you gossip and correct yourself. People will feel safer to share intimately with you if they know that what they are sharing with you will not be shared with others. The most harmful kind of gossip is to create stories about people that are not true. When speaking, check yourself about what you are sharing about someone else. Get comfortable with silence. As a practice, share about yourself and not others. Also remember that you can always have a “do-over” and clarify any misinformation you may have shared about someone else.
Notice how it feels to not speak right away. Can you get comfortable with silence in the conversation? An inquiry to explore within yourself. You may enjoy the outcome. It may help your life to flow more smoothly.
What happens when we don’t take things personally? Now that I have been embodying this agreement, when I encounter someone at the store or out and about and they act off or unfriendly, I always say to myself something like, “They must have something challenging going on. It’s not me.” I always feel so much better and can return to the present moment.
Notice how often you make assumptions as you communicate or talk about another’s situation or circumstance. Do you make assumptions about them or their story? How about when you are trying something new or risky? Do you make assumptions to get out of doing it? Another example…someone in your life is not communicating. Do you assume they need space or do you call them assuming they need help? Instead, ask that person what they need?
And finally, do you always do your best? Some do and some can be sluggish or may sabotage a good opportunity. I guess what I’d suggest here, is first, choose to do what you like to do. Trust that if you follow your dreams and passions, they will manifest because you are passionate and excited about what you are doing. In that state of being, you will attract. You will also do your best because you care about what you are doing. You are choosing it. And when you choose something, stick with it and do your best.
You will find Don Miguel Ruiz’s unique interpretation of The Four Agreements in his book. If you are on a chosen spiritual path, find out what agreements are followed. You may choose to learn about them and decide if you want to follow them as well. These agreements or guidelines for life were created to bring harmony, inner peace, and reduce suffering. Give them a try and see how it feels to practice them.
It might be tempting to do them sometimes and not others. Can you commit to doing them all the time? If you go back and forth, notice what you experience in your connections. Are there differences?
Enjoy the exploration. Perhaps make this a New Year’s intention for 2024. Have an extraordinary 2024!
*These are suggestions and not meant to be a prescription for your unique individual needs. Practice with awareness and agency. Seek a medical professional to discuss your options.*
Many of Gina’s suggestions can be found in her FREE ebook, Connection Post Pandemic, 2nd edition of Lighter: Living Tantra.
Gina M. Barrett is an author, trauma-informed yoga therapist, somatic eastern movement educator, and equine therapist. In 2022, she won an international humanitarian award for her service providing trauma-informed yoga to marginalized communities. Gina has a private practice in Crestone on her land called Wild Baca Ranch. She has been engaged in the wellness profession for over 40 years as an international holistic mental health practitioner and as an environmental and social justice change agent. To learn more about Gina and to receive her FREE ebook, visit www.ginambarrett.com
Citations:
https://www.miguelruiz.com/the-four-agreements
Reprinted from the Case de Paz SLV training manual with permission.
